A Virgin Blogger

I'm finally writing! I'm not going to tell you and I'll just wait till you see it ;o) Anyway, the reason I'm writing is it's another day of sitting here with nothing to do, but make tea and check email. For those of you that don't know me....no, I'm not just sitting at home although, yes I could do the same thing there. I am at my place of employment and that's how it is here. Should I consider myself lucky that I'm getting paid and I have no stress, yes I guess, but I'll tell you it's not easy to find things to do for 8 hours. Here is what today was like:

Come in turn on computer (2min.)
Check email (1min.)
Check yahoo email (15min) I had some actual emails to go through.
Call my 401k to enroll because I don't know, which funds to put my funds in. The woman on the phone couldn't tell me. They are sending me a packet of info., lovely (10min)
Call the maker of our phones because my boss always hears static. Tech supports only suggestion was that they could send a replacement. That took a whole (20min.) not bad.
Have a snack
Read some of "The complete database marketer" a book my boss gave me, which is actually kind of interesting, but I had trouble focusing on it today. (20min.)
Eat lunch at my desk. A soup and sandwich that I brought in. Trying to save some cash (20min)
Checked yahoo email again
Looked at programs for physical therapy & physical therapy assistants. (45min.)
Still not sure what I want to do for a career ho hum
Tried to read the book again (5min.)
Started looking up writing, creative writing and screenplays. (10min.)
*Epiphany* Reminded me of the blog. (Currently blogging) it's fun ;o)

So now that I've officially bored you to tears on what a days is like in my life as a technical admin. assistant to a database marketer. It's your turn!

p.s. I really wish there were more exclamation marks besides ! and ;o)
I want to be expressive in my writing, but it's either I'm excited or smiley. There are other emotions how do you show it online? (there's one, confused add that to my list)

I think I'll make a cup of tea,
chow!

An Epiphany by Katie

So here I am assuming the worst and feeling terrible, when suddenly it occurs to me. He's 41 years old, he is a nice guy, and we're sleeping together. He is not going to pull the disappearing guy thing. You can't blame me for my knee jerk reaction, it's not like every girl hasn't experienced it before. He hasn't called or emailed in a few days, well o.k., no need to panic. He doesn't usually call to chat and he said he'd be away this weekend. I highly doubt that he's just not calling for some nefarious reason. After all, if that were the case, and you add to it the fact that he is 41 and we're sleeping together, then he wouldn't be such a nice guy after all, would he?

Taking the Good With the Bad - by Katie

I so don’t want to know anything about his marriage. He mentioned his ex-wife in the context of a story the other night and I flinched – I couldn’t help it. I actually had a physical reaction. I don’t want him to know how bad it freaks me out but he is so good and so sweet and shortly thereafter we left the restaurant and he grabbed me and gave me a big hug and he kissed me and I felt like I know he is here with me now.

It’s hard not to let it bother me. I get jealous over ex-girlfriends so I’m actually really handling this well when you think about it. Or maybe I’m just repressing it because I am good at that. I tell myself all the things a calm, healthy, confident adult would tell herself: the past is the past, he is not with her now, and maybe, just maybe everything that happens has to happen a certain way to get to a certain place. Maybe if he was never married he wouldn’t have been where he was, he wouldn’t be who he is, maybe we would never have met or never have connected and if that’s the case, I wouldn’t undo the past for anything. That’s going to sound so dumb to anyone who isn’t me, but I can’t help thinking things happen for reasons beyond our ability to comprehend. And if I can make myself believe there was a good reason, maybe it will all be easier to deal with. Now if only I could keep from flinching at the mere mention of the fact, I’d be all set.

Gushy Feelings - Yuck!! By Katie

This is so totally lame, I feel lame for even saying it. How can you miss someone you’ve only known a month? How can you miss someone you have only seen on 3 separate occasions ever? But I miss him, even just emailing with him. We were emailing earlier this week and we made plans to go out tomorrow night and we’ve been maintaining radio silence since we finalized the plans. Every ounce of my being is full of the energy of waiting to be with him again. I want to feel the way I felt just sitting next to him, not talking not touching. I know it’s too soon and I can’t email him to say I’m thinking of him or I miss him, but I keep hoping when I check my email that he would have thought to say it. What’s weird is that I still feel nervous about seeing him so I am simultaneously looking forward to it and not looking forward to it. Also, how am I supposed to be acting cool and aloof when it’s the exact opposite of how I feel? Won’t my feelings be evident and written all over my face? I feel like I will betray myself by expressing what my heart feels instead of what my head knows. Totally lame, I can’t believe I’m being so silly.

Rules of Engagement - by Katie

It seems like every time I turn around lately, someone is sporting a brand new diamond solitaire on their left hand. I can count 7 friends, coworkers, and acquaintences who have gotten engaged in the last few months. It's just about as much as a single girl can take.

I'm glad that when I was little I didn't have one of those major princess wedding fantasies. I'm also glad that I didn't take my mother's admonitions against pre-marital sex to heart but I digress. My parents like to make dire proclamations about how I'm going to have to get married in their back yard since they have no money and I pretend to be shocked but really, I don't need a big wedding. Maybe my parents' back yard is not the locale I would choose, and even though to be perfectly honest I kind of like the idea of a money and time are no object wedding, planned out picture perfectly suited to my tastes and preferences, I'm realistic. Money is an object and time, well, I'm not getting any younger. As long as I get to wear my grandmother's dress, my dad gets to walk me down the aisle, and I have a chocolate fountain at my reception, I'll be happy.

Meanwhile I have fantasized about the proposal since I was a little girl. I don't need a fancy expensive ring or an elaborately laid out plan. All I ask for is the perfect script. I imagine that he (whoever he may be) will say just the right thing, just like a movie, and I will know that someone actually wants to spend his life with me. Hey, I'm in no rush to get married, but for goodness sake, I think it would be nice to be asked.